Cold Hands
by Saathi
Summary: There was something missing, Rei knew. Something...really important. [KaiRei] [why did no one care?]


_Heh…;…my attempt at helping the KaRe fandom. Enjoy._

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or anything Beyblade-related.

**Cold Hands**

It began the first day of fall the year Rei turned fifteen, about a week into October.

"Hey, Maxie!" came a voice that, though muffled, was distinctly Tyson's. "Where's my coat? Y'know, the cool brown one?"

Max wrinkled his nose in thought, pausing with one arm through in his neon green jacket. Rei nearly laughed out loud at how childishly cute his young friend was. "Um…I think it's on the umbrella stand! You threw it there last time we came home from the bowling alley, remember?"

"Oh yeah! Thanks!" In a few minutes Tyson reappeared, bounding into the room with the unlimited energy that was so much a part of him. "Isn't it cool, guys? It's like one of those detective's trenchcoats!" He pirouetted too fast for anyone to see the back, and Max giggled.

Rei smiled, stood up, and glanced around. "Well, is everyone ready?" he asked the room. Unfortunately, the room was too busy doing its own thing to listen. Tyson was bragging about his fashion sense, Max was giggling at his antics, Kenny was packing Dizzi up, and Kai was standing in his usual 'I-don't-care' way, eyes closed, arms crossed and back straight.

A sharp pain flared inside his chest. Was it so hard to spare a few seconds to listen to a teammate?

But at least they were all dressed adequately, he decided. Why did he have to be so selfish? He should be happy that his team was having fun. Shaking off the slightly sad feeling that had gripped him suddenly, he forced a grin and opened the door, shivering as the gust of chilly air blew in, and called, "Okay, let's get going!"

Tyson and Max sauntered through, still chattering happily (a thought came unbidden — _wouldn't they make a cute couple?_) and Kenny followed. Kai was last. Rei smiled at him, hoping to ease the glare off his captain's face, and Kai opened his mouth as though he was about to say something — but then he shut it again, and marched off with an icy "hn."

Rei was the last one out. He shut the door behind him and began sprinting to catch up with his teammates, hugging himself to ward off the cold.

-

"May I take your order?" asked their server, a cheerful-looking Asian girl named — Rei glanced at her nametag — Minori.

Rei smiled at her, glad that someone was listening to him. "Um, can we have an extra-large meat-lovers' pizza, a large Hawaiian, and one large plain cheese?"

Minori nodded, scribbling in her notepad before looking back up, grin still in place. "Will that be all?"

"Five Cokes too, please." Rei glanced around the table, hoping no one would protest. Tyson and Max were off in their own little hyperactive world, Kenny was typing something, and Kai had his eyes closed again — a sure sign that he didn't want to talk.

Rei rubbed his arms, wondering if there was a cold draft blowing into the room. He suddenly wished someone would look at him and say, "No! Don't, I hate Coke!"

"Alright! Your order will be about twenty minutes." Minori gave him one last smile and then went back to the kitchen.

"…so then I took the guy's sombrero and thwacked him with it!" Tyson boasted, leaning back and basking in the sound of Max's boyish giggles.

"You shouldn't have done that, Tyson!" he admonished Tyson, through his laughter. "You should've…"

Rei sighed, tuning them out. Max was cute, and Tyson was pretty funny, but after a while, their immaturity was kind of annoying. Sometimes — rarely, but sometimes — he could understand Kai's perpetual annoyance.

"Rei." Kai's eyes were finally open. Speak of the devil.

"Yes?" Rei's eyes snapped up, relieved to be drawn out of his dangerously Kai-like thoughts.

"You're training with me tomorrow. One-on-one." The captain's tone brooked no argument.

"Okay, but why? Have I been doing something wrong?" Rei leaned forward, concerned that he hadn't noticed anything different about the way he bladed.

"Your defense is weak. I'll help you improve it." Kai leaned back, crossing his arms again to signal that the conversation was over.

Rei sighed, his eyes dropping back to the tabletop. "Thanks."

"Rei."

The neko-jin's head snapped up. He fought to control the rush of surprise and gratitude "Yes?"

"What did you think of Tyson's performance in that battle last week?"

Rei blinked. And blinked again. Then he realized that Kai, Sourpuss, Slab-of-Ice Kai, wanted a reply. "Well…I think he should avoid head-on attacks…"

Rei didn't realize how long they'd been talking until the waitress (Minnie? Something like that) came and presented them with the bill, which Kai paid quickly. They talked all the way home, too. The funny thing was…Rei couldn't remember what they'd been talking about in the first place.

-

Rei pulled on a shirt quickly, not bothering to look at which one it was. It wasn't like Kai was going to care what he wore to training.

He winced as the pain bit him again. Maybe he should see a doctor or something, with these weird aches popping up from nowhere.

"Ready?" Kai was there then, with no forewarning (as always). Once Rei had finished jumping out of his skin at his sudden appearance, he nodded, wrapping his hair haphazardly and jogging outside to keep up with Kai.

Kai had a good walk, he noted. His steps were long and his posture was straight, and he looked like he knew exactly what he was doing — sometimes Rei envied Kai for this, just a little. Unfortunately Kai's confident stride was leading him past the Hiwatari manor's bey-dish and, it appeared, outside the mansion gates.

"Hey, where are we going?" Rei asked, careful not to let the irregularity of his breath show in his speech.

Kai seemed to notice anyway, slowing down subtly. "A place I know."

-

"Wow," Rei breathed. How the hell had Kai found this place?

They were in a greenhouse somewhere on the outskirts of Moscow, and it was like a totally different world from the powdery-white one of the city. Fragrances filled the air, and flowers lined the walls and every available surface, some big, some small, some silvery and bell-shaped…were those even flowers? He thought his mother had once told him those were actually leaves…

"Earth to Rei."

Rei's attention snapped back to his team captain, who was standing in front of him, obviously impatient. He grinned sheepishly, feeling like an idiot. A girly idiot, at that. "Heh…sorry. It's really beautiful, though."

Kai nodded his agreement, an almost imperceptible movement. Then he reverted to Sadistic Evil Team Captain mode. "Okay. Don't attack me, try to just keep your beyblade in one place. And one more thing," he smirked, "I won't be going easy on you."

Rei grinned back, happy to meet the challenge. "You don't have to. I can beat you anyway."

"We'll see about that." Kai pulled Dranzer out of his pocket, motioning for Rei to do the same. "Three…two…one…let it rip!"

Both blades launched, Driger having a luckily secure landing on the dish. Kai didn't waste any time. "Dranzer, attack!"

There was a red blur, and then a burst of pain. Rei nearly gasped in shock, but managed to hold it in, scowling instead. Driger was still spinning, that was the important part. "You're going to have to do better than that."

"Maneuver!" Kai snarled. Rei blinked, _oh no was that the weird hurt again?_, and thought that Kai had an impressive snarl too. Even when he was slamming his beyblade against Driger…again and again and again.

Rei stood his ground, trying not to wince from the force of the blows. Key word: _trying_. Kai could really pack a punch. How the hell did he find time to work out so much? All he seemed to do was stand around glaring at everything. That, and fight with Tyson.

"If this is hurting you, you really need to train more!" Kai yelled, sweat shining on his brow, eyes alight with an anger Rei had never seen before. "Focus!"

Rei fisted his hands, clenched his teeth, willing Driger to stay upright. Wait…why were his hands so cold? Well, It was winter, and he was wearing fingerless gloves. It was hardly out of the ordinary. But Rei couldn't help wishing the persistent chill would just _go away_.

A sudden sense of loss filled him, and his legs gave out with a _thump_. But…why loss? What had he lost? What had he had to lose, for that matter?

He shook his head, eyes wide and glazed. _I swear, I'm going crazy_.

"Rei!" Kai was at his side now, and Rei foolishly wondered through the haze of sorrow if he was being Concerned Team Leader And Friend now. "Are you stupid? What have you been doing?" His eyes were a shade of red Rei would hesitate to call red, a deep, dangerous ruby hue.

Obviously not. The compassion would have to wait until after this little tirade was over.

"I knew your defense was weak, but not _this_ weak! What the hell, Rei? Are you not eating? You're so fragile! What will you do if someone decides to, to kidnap or rape you or something?" Kai had leaned over now, his grip on Rei's shoulders trapping him in place. Rei had never seen him this angry. And Kai being this angry while Rei was so helpless and weak made a weird feeling coil in his stomach, like sadness so strong it had turned into fury.

"Look, Kai, I'm not a girl! I can take care of myself! If I'm having problems, it's none of your business!" Rei snapped back, struggling to rid himself of Kai's vice-like hands.

"It _is _my business! I'm your _captain_, and as such, I order you to tell me what's wrong!" Kai spat. He was, if anything, closer than before Rei's feeble attempt to throw him off, and Rei could tell he'd been drinking black coffee.

"You're pulling rank on me now? Have you ever heard of a little thing called _manners_?" Rei bared his fangs unconsciously, ears flicking back in a primal gesture of hostility.

"_Manners?_ Rei, you collapsed in the middle of training! Either you've become anorexic overnight or you've been working too hard trying to feed everyone and keep our team together! Don't talk to me about manners! I — I'm —"

But then Kai stopped and looked away, loosening his hold on Rei. He looked back, face expressionless and voice level once again. "What's going on, Rei?"

The sorrow rushed into Rei again, and the ache in his chest came back. And then he admitted, "I don't know," his voice softer than he would have liked.

The stunned look on Kai's face was enough to make Rei turn and run back to their shared bedroom.

-

Rei clutched his pillow and tried to calm down. Panicking wouldn't help him at all.

He didn't understand.

Something was wrong with him, and he had _no_ clue what it was. He was happy, right? He was part of a great team that had won the World Championship, and all of its members were loyal and brave. He had lots of wonderful friends, from the White Tigers to the BladeBreakers, and even Oliver from the Majestics had decided to befriend him after realizing how good a cook Rei was. He wasn't hungry or poor or something. And if it was a girlfriend he needed, then Mariah was always up to the challenge — although he winced at the idea of having to marry her someday. It wasn't like he was missing anything.

The pain spiked unexpectedly, and Rei pressed a hand to his chest.

But there was _something_ he didn't have. Something…really important.

He fell asleep with questions racing through his mind, and he didn't have any answers.

-

"_Hey, Rei," Tyson said, smiling his usual cheerful grin at his teammate. "I'm going to take Maxie out now, 'kay? Kenny's gone out too, to buy spare parts, so you and Kai be good, alright?"_

_Rei smiled back, feeling inexplicably happy. "Okay, have fun!"_

"_Tyson!" Something small and blonde barreled into the older boy, and they both hit the floor with a _thud_. Max stood up again and then helped Tyson up. "Heh, sorry," he beamed, scratching the back of his head._

"_It's alright," Tyson assured him. "Well, we'll be going now, so see you!"_

"_Bye, you guys! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Rei called after their retreating backs._

"_So they're finally gone."_

_Kai stood on the opposite side of the room, arms crossed and everything._

_Rei smiled cheerfully. "Yep. We finally get some alone time!"_

_The older boy strode across the room, the same stride Rei had so admired before. Rei was so caught up in watching the walk that he is completely surprised when Kai is in front of him, grabbing his hand and pulling Rei to the couch, their fingers intertwined. He lay Rei's head on his lap, smoothing his bangs gently. Rei leaned into the touch._

"_Can I undo your hair?" Kai's voice, like his touch, was soft, strangely hesitant. Rei smiled._

"_Go ahead."_

_Kai's fingers deftly unwrapped the rope of hair and Rei was sure he heard a small gasp as the mass of hair spread out in every direction. _

"_It's so annoying sometimes, you know? It's, like, four feet long and I hate it when it gets all messy, so it's really hard to take care of." Rei sighed contentedly as Kai began stroking the hair, running his hand carefully down the length of it as though he was afraid to break it._

"_I could do it for you." Kai's face was more relaxed than Rei had ever seen it._

"_That would be great." Rei smiled gratefully up at his boyfriend, reaching up and pulling Kai down for a kiss — _

-

Rei opened his eyes wide, breathing hard. _What happened…?_ The frantic sense of loss was still washing over him.

He could remember nothing about the dream, save that in it he had been happy…so happy. He'd felt…warm.

He shivered in the night air, rubbing his arms. Rei winced. His hands felt like blocks of ice with popsicles instead of fingers sticking out. Sighing, he got up and walked over to the en-suite, hoping that his hands would feel better with some warm water. As the water ran, he wondered what it was in the dream that had made him feel so happy, so…complete.

Rei turned the tap back off and stared at his hands. They were just as cold as before.

He traipsed back to bed, cradling his frigid hands close. The bed creaked slightly under his weight as he sat down. Rei shivered again, and suddenly felt very vulnerable, alone in the moonlight, hugging his sides in a vain attempt to warm up.

His mind wandered to Tyson and Max. He should have seen it coming, of course. He should have expected this sense of exclusion from their lives, their sudden disregard for anything except each other. If it had been Rei in their place, he would probably have done the same thing. He had no right to feel resentful, no right to be anything other than completely happy for his two friends. It was probably just that they didn't talk to him anymore, and Kenny talked only to Dizzi, and Kai didn't talk to anyone. It was just that he craved more attention than he needed, just like a child. And he was supposed to be the mature one.

Rei looked up at the moon, which was unusually bright, and he saw all the stars scattered across the sky, and he wished he had someone to share them with. Then his head lowered and he saw his freezing hands and for a moment in the moonlight, Kon Rei gave in to self-pity.

His hands were cold, and his chest hurt, and _no one cared_.

Rei cried unashamedly for the first time in five years. He didn't even bother to muffle his sobs with a pillow.

"Rei?" A hand reached out to touch his face softly. "What's wrong?"

It was Kai. Kai, hair disheveled and eyes gummy because of sleep. Kai, his captain and Ice-Cold Bastard who would definitely think him even weaker if he learned that cheerful, stoic Rei was crying his eyes out because of a silly little thing like cold hands.

"I-it's nothing," Rei mumbled, trying his damnedest to stop sniffling. He glared defiantly at Kai, daring him to comment.

"Rei, you collapsed during training, you've been acting weird for weeks, and now you're crying." Kai sighed, his gentle tone contrasting with his matter-of-fact words. "Please. I…want to know."

"My…" Rei looked away. "My hands are cold."

Then Kai laughed. He _laughed_. The Ice-Cold Bastard had the audacity to _laugh!_

"Is that all?" Kai smiled — it was softer than his normal smirk, at least.

Then he took Rei's hands in his own larger ones, and began massaging them, something Rei, only moments ago, would never have believed him capable of. He was _good_, though. Rei almost swooned as his hands began to thaw out.

"Isn't there anything else?" Kai inquired, crimson eyes glancing up from their hands.

"Well…kind of," Rei admitted, not daring to meet Kai's gaze.

"What?" Had his stare always been so intense?

"Why do you care, anyway?" He wrenched his hands free of Kai's, staring sullenly down at his lap.

"…I don't know."

That got Rei's attention. He met his captain's eyes, bemused. "What?"

"I don't know what's happening to me." Kai ran a hand through his tousled hair. "I want to protect you. I've never wanted to protect anyone before."

Rei forced a laugh that sounded a little like a bark. "That's called friendship, Kai."

"You don't understand. I want to…hold you. Just wrap my arms around you and keep you there." A shaft of moonlight fell on Kai's face, and his eyes were so, so confused.

"You're probably thinking of me as a little brother or something." Rei refused to think the thought that was pushing at his mind, _refused_.

"No. I think of my old teammates as brothers. There's something…I…Rei…" Kai looked at him, and something in Rei's chest twinged. "I…I want to kiss you."

Rei sat there, head spinning, eyes wide. A roaring feeling filled him. _Oh God_.

Kai must have taken his shock for disgust. A small sigh escaped his lips. "…I'm sorry. You…obviously don't feel the same way. I'll leave. I'll leave the team if you want me to."

It looked like Kai was about to go, so Rei reached out and grabbed his wrist. "No, you're totally wrong! It's just…it's a little sudden. I only realized I love you tonight."

The shock on Kai's face was priceless.

"You're not…just saying that out of pity, are you?" Kai murmured, a strange light coming into his now wide-awake eyes.

Rei smiled, a soft, sincere quirk of the lips that relaxed his whole face. "No."

"That's good." And with that, Kai leaned down to kiss Rei. It was, as Rei had expected in the few moments before it, rough and messy and a little strange, because Rei was so new to the whole kissing thing, but it was a good kind of strange. It was the kind of strange that made him want to learn more.

Wow. He'd never known people really did things like that with their tongues. And then Kai pulled away, and he was _licking_ Rei's _neck_ and…wow. Kai sure seemed to know a lot more about this stuff than Rei did. A loud moan escaped his throat, and Rei clapped a hand over his mouth, wondering where the hell that had come from.

"You're beautiful," Kai breathed, his face flushed and his eyes bright, just like the star-struck lovers in the romance novels Rei refused to admit he read. He blushed, feeling terribly girly.

"…Kai?" Rei asked, fighting back another embarrassing moan.

"Hn?" his captain replied, not pausing in his abuse of Rei's shoulder.

"Can you massage my hands again?"

Kai stopped now, raising one eyebrow. "Please don't tell me you like me because I'm some sort of human heater."

Rei just laughed as Kai took his hands again, and then he realized that his shoulders were relaxed, and his chest was not hurting at all, and that his hands were just as warm as Kai's.

And then, in the patch of moonlight just for him and Kai, Kon Rei finally felt complete.

-_Fin_-


End file.
